The 3.14 Laws of Octopus-Human Relations

1. A human must not eat an octopus, unless the octopus consents in writing, notarized by at least two starfish.

2. An octopus must not reveal its true form in a public swimming pool.

3. No human or octopus shall engage in interspecies dating unless they can explain it to a confused dolphin in under 3 minutes.

3.14. If all else fails, both parties must agree to blame it on the squid.